Hey guys, it’s your favourite South African stand-up comedian, Haibo John! And today, I’m not here to make you laugh. I’m here to talk about a serious matter. Dr Riaad Moosa, why do you see it necessary to steal my samosas each and every day?
Now, I know we’re both comedians, and we love to joke around, but this is no laughing matter. Every day at 12 o’clock, like clockwork, Riaad comes slinging around the corner, in his fancy shoes and Lewis jeans, and just like that, my samosas are gone. Fokkol om te eet, weg!
Riaad, my friend, how many children do you have at home? Two, right? Two little Moos’as that can be making you samosas 24/7. No problem! But no, you’d rather steal them from poor old me. Do you know how hard it is to be a poor comedian, Riaad? We’re robbing our children’s piggy banks at 2 in the morning, counting cents just to afford a packet of samosas.
And let me tell you, Riaad, it takes 425 two-cent coins to pay for a packet of samosas. And do you even know what 425 two-cent coins weigh? 1.7 kg! Every morning, I leave home with 1.7 kg of two-cent coins sitting on my shoulder like this. And it doesn’t last long before I have 1.7 kg of two-cent coins sitting on my other shoulder. You’d be surprised how heavy 1.7 kg of two-cent coins can be!
And let me tell you, Riaad, carrying around that weight every day is doing wonders for my muscles. My arms and chest are nice and bulky, and I’m feeling strong and in good shape. So, one of these days, when you come slinging around that corner, I’m going to give you a “Moosa klap”! Yes, Riaad, a “Moosa klap”!
But in all seriousness, Riaad, I have a lot of respect for you. You’ve built one hell of a career, and all you need to do is go into the samosa bar, take out your plastic, and pay for your samosas. You then have your packet of samosas, and your day is sorted. No problem!
So, Dr Riaad Moosa, please stop stealing my samosas. Let’s keep the jokes on stage, and the samosas in our own hands. Until next time, guys, stay safe and stay funny. Haibo!
